Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The "P" word

PUBERTY that is. Rough enough on the average human being....add in Prader-willi and autism.

I feel like my recent posts have been all negative. WAIT they have been. I need to say I love my life, love my children, love my hubby...wouldn't change it. BUT every few months it seems we get thrown a few new challenges.  The newest. PUBERTY.

I knew it was coming...I knew for the past two years to be on the look out. This week I saw the emotional results of it...that is the only thing I can think of. Looking back....his voice IS mom on the other coast has noticed. He has become aggressive. :( He has had bouts of it that were short lived...most always I was able to direct him to his bedroom so he could yell/ bang the walls all he wanted...but this was maybe a handful of times a year. I experienced the occasional kicking of my seat driving...or swatting me.

This is a difficult time of year for someone with PWS with all the sweets...special events...all around change in schedule at least in our house. I'm making excuses I think....we had our homeschool Christmas party this week....the kids DID have fun but even before getting there I knew A~man needed more monitoring than usual. At one point I put him in time out (for climbing all over the furniture...uhhh who's kid IS this? he doesn't do THAT???) and he hit me. (?????) We leave the party early as I know he is about to self combust...he the CAR. Kicking the back of the seat and screaming on the way home. LOVELY. The reason? I told him he couldn't bring his "goodies" (school supplies) into his room until I found a container to put them in.  I somehow get him in the house....wondering if DSS would be knocking at my door. (he's screaming while I have a hold of his coat keeping him upright on our icy sidewalk) Once inside he attacks me. Thankfully I am not a small punny woman....the hits/slaps do not hurt but trying to get him to his bedroom so he can't hurt Z-girl or me resulted in me wonking up my back/arms/shoulders. I called the hubby...I texted one of my best friends (far far away) hubby called dev ped and got a prescription for a med he prescibed months ago....but we didn't need it and I lost it.  We all survived the day. My biggest pain is seeing the pain in my 9 year old daughters face during the whole thing despite me telling her to go in the other room. (she didn't want ME to get hurt)

The next day we were thankfully at home but the same thing happened. Over what?? something small...something normally we could have talked through...he was cleaning his room and wanted to give/throw something away he made in preschool. I tried to explain that I wanted to keep it for me. Then it all happened again. Thankfully hubby was able to leave work to pick up the prescription. ( even if I had transportation I couldn't have got him in the car)

I PROMISE to anyone reading next post will be a positive one. This is my favorite time of year...I love celebrating Jesus' birthday...I love snow and the cold, I love decorating for the season. :) We have been doing lots of fun stuff...but a blog is a nice place to unload your burdens. (well in addition to God and I am definitely doing that  :) 

Oh and a special thanks to my blog and IRL friends K and D!!! love ya gals!!!


  1. Crying as I read this. I knew you were struggling the other day, but didn't know how much. I wish there was SOMETHING I could do to help you through these tough times. I also really understand your concerns about puberty. There is NOTHING easy about puberty and boys. Like you say...throw in challenges and you've got trouble on a plate. I hope the prescription will be helpful. Keep us updated...

  2. Hi Over Yonder, I'm truly sorry I haven't been by in a while. I had no idea you were going through rough times. My heart aches for you.

    I will tell you that it is normal for all children who enter puberty to have issues. I don't know if this will help, but there is something that happens that has nothing to do with the physical..but it just happens at the same time. I have planned to blog about this on a Tuesday Tea in January because so many friends with younger children are wondering what in the world got in to their 'sweet' children!?

    Do you know, as I did not when my first son turned eleven, that up until about this time, our children see us as 'perfect'?
    We aren't, but they don't know that. After puberty, they begin to see us as human..with faults. They become easily offended. They begin to question who God is and if he is there..does he love us. Add to that that it is much harder to control their emotions and of course, there will be outbursts. The hardest thing is to not go into 'mommy mode' as I call it. Lecturing them for their mistakes. We become more of a mentor than a mother. We have to let them get it out of their system etc. showing love, understanding, and support. Then, when they are calm, we try to help them understand their responsibility in the outburst or conflict. We have to let them fail and make mistakes they won't have to make them later.

    All of this is how to deal with 'normal' children when they hit teens and this is how 'normal' children act as they begin to go through this. By the time they hit age 14 to 15 they begin to feel good about the world again..and have 'found' their way so to speak..if we havn't given them the feeling that we are rejecting them.

    How you are going to get through this with the additional burden of your son's health and mental issues, I honestly don't know. But I hope that it will help you to be able to sort out which part is which if you know what normal pre-teen struggles are.

    I think you are doing an amazing job as a mother. You are very BRAVE and GOOD! You must be a very special mother if the Lord has entrusted dear A man to your care! I pray he will help you sift through the confusion and give you all of us mothers have to do..and not lose sight of all that you have accomplished and not lose sight of the fact that God truly does care and weeps with you..

    You should get the 'World's best mommy award' in my opinion. BTW, blog about your struggles all you like! It helps to get it out..and we can all root for you and pray for you. If you are weeping, we want to weep with you. When a joyful day comes, we want to rejoice with you. That's the best kind of blogging!