Sometimes it takes...

your child to open up your eyes to what God wants to say to you. I've had a rough couple of weeks. Starting school up after a month break, getting sick, my own medicine changes, yada yada yada. I have just gotten behind with EVERYTHING. Add in the fact I need to start planning in our vacation that will be this fall. 

Today at the grocery store I saw him. Who is he? It's the minister of a church that my father in law went to a couple of years before he passed away of cancer. It is a simple (I mean that in a good way) and small church. The minister has a heart of gold and his mission is to help people in need. People that need food. I mean actual food. I will say he is very obese and in a wheelchair. I am not saying this to discriminate about people that are obese or in a wheel chair but something about seeing him strikes home in correlation with PWS. His desire is to make sure people have food. Can you see the connection?

 Anyway A~man, even though he was 5 when his pop-pop passed away remembers Pastor M...he is drawn to him as Pastor M seriously has a heart of gold. You can feel God's love surrounding this man. But sometimes when we go to the grocery store we want to get what we need and go home. Our days, even the good ones, are exhausting at times, dealing with special needs and normal life issues. So...I see Pastor M before A~man does and I try to avoid those aisles...as I want to hurry and get home. (Yes, I have my not so nice moments) But no. God has other plans.

We meet up in an aisle. A~man (who also has a heart of gold) sees him in his wheelchair and is instantly drawn to pastor M. At that moment I once again realize how truly holy and pure my son is, so much more than I could ever hope to be. You see, he takes the time to go over to him, ask how his wife and daughter are, and how HE is. Which in itself forces hubby and I to go over there and converse. How wondrous it is that a child that in societies eyes is disabled... is so much more compassionate and caring than I am. I am selfish, I want to go home and rest. A~man? He genuinely wants to know how pastor M is and his family. I strive to be more like that!!

I read things about trying to "cure" autism, cure whatever disability. I wonder if my son's many disabilities were "cured" would it take away this caring spirit also? I am probably in the minority...but as my blog implies...I learn so much from my son who has special needs. Sometimes it seems he is closer to God than I am. Does that make sense? 

Oh, and get this. Would you like to know what yada, yada, yada's various meanings are?  Sharing love, sharing mercy, acting justly and something to be known. Sometimes it takes a child to teach us all that.

Take the time...

I am sure I have mentioned many times in my blog, (and to a couple of you in person ;) how exhausting, stressful, and downright aging it is parenting a child like my son. There are times I admit, when I wake up in the morning and a sense of dread comes over me. That's when I pray for strength and courage for whatever the day entails. Yet, often I can overlook the joys that are right under my nose. Just this week on facebook I posted, It is a fortunate thing my son is so darn funny...  sometimes it's the honest truth. I will be asked the same thing for the millionth time...I will feel like I am about to pull every strand of hair out of my head...and he will say something UTTERLY hilarious. I'm talking comedian hilarious. He has saved himself my wrath (wrath=me yelling) on many occasion simply by making me (or his dad) laugh. There are so many things he does (positive things) that go unnoticed at the time by me and the hubby because we are simply trying to get to the next task of the day. Almost like checking the square. 

Grocery shopping is one such thing. I'm embarrassed to admit this. We go to the grocery store every single day. (I really should do better meal planning for the week!) Fortunately for us, despite A~man's Prader-Willi Syndrome, he has always done exceptional in the grocery store. For him it is a social time. With each department; produce, deli, meats, dairy, he knows at least one and often two of the workers. The thing is he wants to have lengthy chats with each person. I do not particularly like to shop (you would think I would do better meal planning then huh?) and I want to get what we need and get out. This isn't at just one grocery store I should add,hehe, this is at two where he knows so many employees. They LOVE him. One grocery store employs people with disabilities. He knows them all. One young man with Down Syndrome often will come up and either hug A~man or give him a high five. If one employee is not there he will inquire about where they are. He remembers the most particular details about each person. He makes all of them feel special and important. One manager has even promised him a job one day. (PWS and working at a grocery store is probably not a good mix though)

On to my story...today Z~girl and hubby went to the store together and A~man and I were at home doing some school work. Someone came up behind hubby and hugged him from behind. (I should mention this someone is close to 7 foot tall) He turned around and it was someone that used to work at the store. Probably about 5 months ago he had gotten a blood clot in his leg and he is no longer able to work. (he's just a bit older than I am) The man had tears in his eyes. He said to tell A~man how much he appreciated him asking and praying for him. He has a son and daughter who also work there and almost every day A~man would ask about "B". He would also write him notes and send him gum and M&M's for them to bring home to their dad. THIS MAN WAS IN TEARS! Have I ever brought someone to tears? Probably not in a good way. 

So many times when we are out and about I am rushing. I am shushhing him. I do not want to talk to everyone in the store I want to GO HOME. But my little buddy beside me is showing people the type of love and compassion that God wants us to show to one another. He is making people feel special and giving them the time of day when most people are probably like me and walk right on by people. Heck, I'm terrible about getting lost in the little world in my head and walking past people I know! I need to to slow down, see people, and show even a portion of the same love my son shows. With our lifestyle does it really matter whether it takes 10 minutes to shop or 20 minutes? No, most of the time when we shop it's the end of he day with no more appointments or activities.

Lastly, with A~man having his PWS and often autistic quirkiness, I wonder..... If he did not in fact have those challenges...would he still be awesome like that? I think that particular awesomeness he has, making people feel special, and caring, I honestly think it is a characteristic of his disability. A characteristic that I need to learn from. 

Happy Mother's Day to all my special mom friends!

I tend to be a loner. THERE I said it. Sure, I go out to homeschool events, church events, community events, but  I am one of those people that get energized from some good alone time. Yet when I think about it, I have some really wonderful mom friends. Moms to talk about homeschool stuff, mom's to talk about special needs stuff, moms that go eat cupcakes with you, moms that eat donuts with you, mom's that go out for coffee, and even a few that are there at your most awful moments. I have a couple friends that during those challenging special needs moments...where you are about to pull out all your hair, or worse, pull out someone else's hair, they are there to send a text to, asking for a prayer of strength. Or just to hear what awful circumstance you are going through and not judge because THEY have been there also in some form or another.  I'm not sure about other special needs moms, but talking on the phone is not usually an enjoyable experience when my son is around. So sometimes a simple text back and forth will pull you back up by your bootstraps. I am so blessed to have friends like that. Friends that will text you some encouragement or friends that will help pull you out of the house for a breather. Maybe even a couple are reading this.

For years and years I have referred to my super hero cape. At times I have worried that people would think that I thought I was a better mom than other moms. That's not it. Last week one of my favorite text buddies and longtime friend, Cortana (check out her blog and add her to your list...she is the BEST) was texting how frustrated she was that, because as a special needs parent, people would say how strong of a person she must be. When in reality we are just like every other mom out there. Where we are different is that, at different times when we have to deal with a particularly difficult situation and at times harrowing, we must pull out an unusual amount of patience, wisdom, and courage.(for me that is when God steps in)  THAT is what I refer to as my super hero cape. Now, sometimes I feel like my super hero cape is lost or at the cleaners, it's almost like you just do not. have. the. strength. for one more obstacle. Yet still...you keep plugging on.

Right now I feel like I'm at a standstill with my son who has Prader-willi and Autism, educationally. It's nearing the end of the year but our homeschool testing isn't until the middle of June. The last couple of weeks any new concept has pretty much been met with a glazed over stare. Right now, at this moment, it feels like as far as school work he has met his limit. I'm not sure the parent of a typical developing child could understand quite what that means. What do I do? Stop formal "schoolwork" for awhile? (of course technically you never stop learning in the game of LIFE) We plan on taking July off but if I was to take off the month before testing,in my mind (even though testing is just something we HAVE to do for our state homeschool regulations) I know he wouldn't do as well on the test. I really wish I could completely NOT care what the score is but sometimes....as a homeschool parent you feel it is a measure of how well YOU as the parent did that year.  I would really LOVE some ideas from anyone reading this, that is familiar with developmental issues. All I know is, this must be my cue to stop trying to teach anything new for awhile. Maybe I'll go back and do a review over everything we have covered in the last year to further concrete what he has learned. He also loves his online learning games. This year his spelling has been helped immensely by online spelling programs and word games. Maybe we will do a lot of reading...maybe we will review math facts. I guess I need to get that super hero cape out of the closet. ;)

I will end this rambling post with a video. One of my superhero mom friends from Canada made this awhile back. My very favorite picture of the A~man and me is in it. I LOVE being a mama! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all my super mom friends!!

Mom I'm hungry....

This is a common thing for kids all age to say right? It's a sad thing also when you hear about children in other countries that do not have food or the means to get it. I have another version and very heartbreaking for me.

A~man just turned 10 this week...yippee but I will save that post for another day. Tonight (3-8) he was with his respite provider at our church that has a special needs classroom. They have a day placement for adults with sn's but A~man is kindof like their special mascot haha and in the summers he is there with the rest of the younger children with sn's. But Wed's are his special afternoons without mom or dad hanging out at his favorite place on earth...church. While he was there we took Z~girl to go swimming for some more one on one attention. (or is it two on one?:) While ds is at church he hangs out in the classroom socializing then he goes to eat as they serve a meal on Weds. I'm not sure when things went bad...I'll find out more details tomorrow...for now I know enough. Hubby went to pick him up from church....he was throwing a fit screaming bad bad stuff...he had to carry him to the car. Keep in mind this is a HUGE church...geesh I wonder what people think? He is so high functioning that when he falls apart I know people must think he is just a bratty kid (he's NOT) that must have been raised by wolves....ok I gotta chuckle...but he has autism thrown in there which is a double whammy on self control.

Anyway this entry has no rhyme or reason...I'm rambling...just need to vent. He gets home in hysterics....dh has to go back to work:( and I could not get him to get ready for bed. He sits on the couch and starts saying he hasn't eaten dinner and he is hungry.....just crying "I"m so hungry please feed me!!!" Rip my heart out already....Did I feed him? No. I know he had been fed....so I just held him on my lap and let him cry....finally I was able to get him to jump in the shower with the promise when he calmed down he could call daddy. He wanted to tell daddy he was sorry for the way he acted. He also was telling me he wanted Jesus to forgive him....(he screamed he hated Jesus in church) RIP MY HEART OUT AGAIN! stomp on it too....

I just instantly thought of GRACE. I told A~man that Jesus forgave him .....he did it long ago so he could forgive him now. I told him that God loved him VERY much.

I am exhausted.