It's been an awful week and that is an understatement. Still not sure whether to share what precipitated it but I might soon...when I figure it out myself. It is no secret being a special needs parent is a challenge, but when other stuff gets piled in on top it can send a special needs child...and their family into a whirlwind.
I will share how this residual stress can affect (or is it effect?) a child with special needs even when they are not "aware" of why their mama and daddy are stressed. They feel it despite not understanding it. The typical sibling may understand part of it, be stressed by it and understandably aggravated by their special needs sibling's behavior.
It was a bright and sunny day today, a much needed reprieve from some rainy cold days, so we went for a hike at one of our favorite close hiking spots that happens to be a goat farm. It started off with A~man trying to find the goat that was grumpy with him last time. Honestly the very tame (and many were pregnant) goats must have sensed something as they made a bee line as far away from the A~man as they could get. I've never seen this as they are very docile goats.
Then he started reading one of their collars to figure out the name. He said "This one's name is Kawtee"...Z~corrected him and said nicely (well... the first time) no it is KATIE. This caused both of them to butt heads and A~man to spiral into a spot of no return. It escalated into "what's for lunch?" We had just eaten a big brunch. Then he started to scream and hit his dad.
Oh I should add this is also a beautiful location for photography and there was a sweet mama, her 3-4 year old little miss dressed up all fancy, and a photographer. Yep they, (and others) were right there to witness my 14 year old kicking his dad and swearing. (okay his swearing amounts to the word damn...shit....stuff like that but I still do not like it) My husband had to restrain him. ---disclaimer...we are trained yearly in this...I do not recommend anyone restraining someone...especially with Prader-willi syndrome, unless they are trained in how to do it appropriately.
Me? Hubby whispers that I may need to go talk to the people. Yep. uh-huh. This will be fun. I turned around to go towards them and by gosh...maybe they were afraid of me? I was like " m'am...excuse me" ( I do live in the "south" even though I am a transplant) with them walking rapidly away. By this time I am so embarrassed. Not by my son but I tend to be pretty quiet and reserved and approaching a stranger is NOT COMFORTABLE for me. Finally I stop and say- " My son has special needs and I just wanted to make sure you know we are not hurting him. He has Prader-willi syndrome and autism and is having a very difficult time right now. " I did catch them by surprise but they said something to the effect of "It's okay, we figured out he must be autistic".
I should note...I am not a crier. (well this week is an exception) I was crying when I said it, and sobbing as I walked away. *please tell me I will never see these people again* My poor Z~girl who knows I rarely cry asked me several times throughout the rest of the day- "Why did you cry mama?"
Meanwhile hubby was assisting A~man to a place away from people and was sitting on a rock...he was trying to calm himself down. (I'm talking about A~man...hubby was doing just fine...LOL) Both Z and I settled for awhile and I tried to distract A~man with the cat sunning itself just inside the barn as he LOVES that cat. Nope. A~man seemingly heard someone sneeze nearby and exclaimed...loudly- "Bless you....CREEP!!" I mouthed to hubby "WE NEED TO LEAVE QUICK", and that we did.
I should mention..this week is our spring break...I demand a DO OVER! Our good days/weeks far exceed the bad ones but I am absolutely exhausted, yet unable to sleep. Sometimes I am hesitant to tell others about our bad days but in doing so I hope I can show other parents of children with special needs that they are not alone. Seriously, you are NOT ALONE!
I will share how this residual stress can affect (or is it effect?) a child with special needs even when they are not "aware" of why their mama and daddy are stressed. They feel it despite not understanding it. The typical sibling may understand part of it, be stressed by it and understandably aggravated by their special needs sibling's behavior.
This photo was actually taken a month before, there are blooms on the trees now, but I was in no mood to take photos this week.
It was a bright and sunny day today, a much needed reprieve from some rainy cold days, so we went for a hike at one of our favorite close hiking spots that happens to be a goat farm. It started off with A~man trying to find the goat that was grumpy with him last time. Honestly the very tame (and many were pregnant) goats must have sensed something as they made a bee line as far away from the A~man as they could get. I've never seen this as they are very docile goats.
Then he started reading one of their collars to figure out the name. He said "This one's name is Kawtee"...Z~corrected him and said nicely (well... the first time) no it is KATIE. This caused both of them to butt heads and A~man to spiral into a spot of no return. It escalated into "what's for lunch?" We had just eaten a big brunch. Then he started to scream and hit his dad.
Oh I should add this is also a beautiful location for photography and there was a sweet mama, her 3-4 year old little miss dressed up all fancy, and a photographer. Yep they, (and others) were right there to witness my 14 year old kicking his dad and swearing. (okay his swearing amounts to the word damn...shit....stuff like that but I still do not like it) My husband had to restrain him. ---disclaimer...we are trained yearly in this...I do not recommend anyone restraining someone...especially with Prader-willi syndrome, unless they are trained in how to do it appropriately.
Me? Hubby whispers that I may need to go talk to the people. Yep. uh-huh. This will be fun. I turned around to go towards them and by gosh...maybe they were afraid of me? I was like " m'am...excuse me" ( I do live in the "south" even though I am a transplant) with them walking rapidly away. By this time I am so embarrassed. Not by my son but I tend to be pretty quiet and reserved and approaching a stranger is NOT COMFORTABLE for me. Finally I stop and say- " My son has special needs and I just wanted to make sure you know we are not hurting him. He has Prader-willi syndrome and autism and is having a very difficult time right now. " I did catch them by surprise but they said something to the effect of "It's okay, we figured out he must be autistic".
I should note...I am not a crier. (well this week is an exception) I was crying when I said it, and sobbing as I walked away. *please tell me I will never see these people again* My poor Z~girl who knows I rarely cry asked me several times throughout the rest of the day- "Why did you cry mama?"
Meanwhile hubby was assisting A~man to a place away from people and was sitting on a rock...he was trying to calm himself down. (I'm talking about A~man...hubby was doing just fine...LOL) Both Z and I settled for awhile and I tried to distract A~man with the cat sunning itself just inside the barn as he LOVES that cat. Nope. A~man seemingly heard someone sneeze nearby and exclaimed...loudly- "Bless you....CREEP!!" I mouthed to hubby "WE NEED TO LEAVE QUICK", and that we did.
I should mention..this week is our spring break...I demand a DO OVER! Our good days/weeks far exceed the bad ones but I am absolutely exhausted, yet unable to sleep. Sometimes I am hesitant to tell others about our bad days but in doing so I hope I can show other parents of children with special needs that they are not alone. Seriously, you are NOT ALONE!
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