Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Do not lose your spark!

Today I went to my daughter's violin lessons. Normally I use this alone time and stay home (A~man goes too) to work and my husband takes both of them. It had been such a long time I really wanted to go so I did. Watching her play the violin is so wonderfully entertaining. *disclaimer...I'm about to brag* We have never had to tell her to practice her violin. She will lose track of time and we will sometimes have to tell her to finish up in fact. She exhibits such complete joy and extreme concentration while playing and today was no different. The girl was practically dancing during her lesson while playing!

Also while watching her I was reminded that over the last several years friends that knew me when I was her age would say how much she looks like I did. I would always think to myself "REALLY?" Because when I look at her I see such a beauty that comes from inside to the outside that I couldn't believe she could look like I did. That was not something I saw in myself at that age. But today I SAW myself. The same nose, chin,   eyes, and hands. What was I missing at that age that had made me not see it before? Her SPARK. She has an incredible spark. Her and I always tease that we have most people fooled into believing that we are quiet and serious individuals. If someone doesn't know us well they probably think we are very quiet and serious.

HOW did I lose that spark when I was little? Why did my spark go out? When I was just a bit younger than her...probably 8 or 9, I started to get bullied and made fun of. In an extreme way. I grew really tall in a short amount of time and I was very skinny. From age 8-30 I had people accusing me of having an eating disorder. (I never did)  This caused me to hide away completely into myself until I probably was about 14 or 15. I also played an instrument for most of my school years and was considered very good. But I didn't have the joy and pleasure for playing the flute that I see when she plays her violin or fiddle songs. Oh, and I rarely practiced unless being nagged to do it.

I guess that is one of the many reasons I decided homeschooling would be good for both kids. I did not want them to have to experience what I went through. Yes, I know there will be (and in A~man's case there has been a couple) times when they will be hurt by others. That is just life period. I just hope and pray that I can raise both children to keep the confidence and exuberance that both of them have in such a high quantity so that if...no not if...when someone treats them badly it will not cause their spark to go out like mine did. Also I pray that I can continue to show them to treat others the way they want to be treated. Bullying leaves scars that can last a lifetime.

1 comment:

  1. SO true!! In my opinion, bullying is the biggest failure of the public school system - - not the educational issues, or the financial issues, or even the religious issues - - but the fact that when a child enters a place of mass education, they are always subject to ridicule. And it absolutely shouldn't be allowed. It should be the key value taught and expected from Kindergarten through 12th grade - - respect and kindness toward one another. Had I not had to worry about what my peers were thinking of me, I would have learned a lot more in school!!