Friday, September 12, 2014

Dear Waitress Who Growled At My Special Needs Son

Yesterday we had an unfortunate situation at a local restaurant that left us extremely upset. Here is my response to the rude behavior we witnessed. I did leave out the name of the person. ETA- I am going to name the restaurant as I would hate for someone to think it was a different place. Fortune Asian is the name of the restaurant this happened at. 

Dear Waitress Who Growled At My Son,

As you know we have been in the restaurant where you work many times over the last year or more. We enjoy the food and it is near our home, but with each time we have gone you have made it more obvious how much you do not like for us to choose your restaurant to dine in.

At first I thought you were having a bad day, very quiet, or maybe just had a lot going on in your life that would make you look with dread each time you seated us at a table. Yes, I did notice the eyerolls you would give us when we ordered too. Looking back I wonder what kept us going back except that the food was very consistently good and reasonably priced. I was a waitress years ago and I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt which is why we kept returning. Yet, I still always hoped that someone else would wait on our table and every once in awhile someone else would. They were always courteous, polite, and made us feel welcome.

It has been over a month since we have dined there and we decided to return because our son wanted to go there. The look on your face when you saw us come in the door should have been enough. Yes, I noticed. My husband went to the restroom and my son tried to strike up a conversation with you. I heard it. You growled at him, gave him and I the stink eye and walked off. Initially I thought I was hearing things as why would an adult “growl”. I asked my daughter and she said that yes, you growled at her brother.

Once my husband returned to the table and I briefly explained your rudeness he agreed we should leave. On the way out the door I told you, “We will never come back here.” Your response? You smiled, shook your head and said, “okay”.

After talking with a couple of friends I still want to give you the benefit of the doubt as maybe you did not realize my son has special needs. Despite the fact that my son has always been polite and well behaved in your restaurant he does talk a lot. A LOT. He also asks a lot of questions and at times they are pretty off the wall. The question he asked you was not offensive and it wasn’t even really was just off the wall. He asked you if the other man working there was your son.

I know for a fact from other times dining there that your children often work there with you. He was not trying to be rude he was trying to strike up a conversation and he knew the one time he asked if the two children that were there were actually spoke to him.

I will be the first to say that my son can be challenging to be around. Maybe you should know though that he has autism and that he also has a disability called Prader-Willi Syndrome. Without going into too many unnecessary details a few of the ways these two challenges affect my son is with excessive talking, being socially appropriate, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and impulse control. (those are just a few of the many challenges he has to deal with daily, just a drop in the bucket) He tries so hard...and he has come a long way in his 14+ years.

One way that we try and teach our son is by bringing him out in the community and helping him learn how to act appropriately, and what is socially acceptable around people. With all honesty I can say he has never been a bother at the restaurant you work at except with sometimes being a little too loud and obviously by annoying you somehow.

I’ve explained my son’s challenges with his sometimes out of the ordinary behavior so you know why he is the way he is. I should also say that in any other restaurant we have been to in Hendersonville (and we have many favorites) he and our family have been treated with nothing but respect. In fact, he becomes a favorite of waitresses and customers, despite his many challenges he is the most charming person you will ever meet. Unfortunately, due to your rudeness (I would love to hear the excuse you have for your rudeness by the way) you will never get to know this. You are truly the one missing out on his pure and sweet awesomeness.

Did my son notice your rudeness? No. He did notice how upset his mama was after leaving your restaurant while I explained to my husband how you behaved. We were not mad at him for what he said but after he overheard what we were talking about the experience and kept saying, “I’m sorry!, I’m sorry!” He had nothing to be sorry for yet he stated to us “sometimes I feel stupid”. This is not something I have heard him say but a couple of times.

I came home and looked at your website to see who the managers or owners of the restaurant you worked at were as I wanted to contact them. What I discovered was that YOU are the owner. Shame on you! Good food does not make a needs equal amounts of kindness and being hospitable and you are sorely missing both of those traits.

I will be reviewing your restaurant at many different places including our blogs and Facebook. My husband and I will be passing this information along to many friends and families with special needs children. To growl at any child in your restaurant much less a child with special needs is pitiful. Fortunately there are many other restaurants in town that welcome our business and welcome our son.


Monday, July 28, 2014

Review- Adventures in Mindful Living's 6 Week Transformation

This spring I was able to try out a 6 Week Transformation that a local friend and homeschool blogger created. I definitely needed a kick start to change some of my old bad eating habits and this was just the thing! Weight loss is something I really need to focus on but more than that making wise food choices that would affect how my body worked. Sure, that doughnut for breakfast sounds appealing but 20 minutes later it will lay in your stomach like a rock. Amber from Adventures in Mindful Living gives you a healthy plan that assists your body to work they way God intended it.

                                                6 Week Transformation with Amber Neal Adventures In Mindful Living

So what is a good choice for breakfast instead of that doughnut? A protein shake full of fruits and veggies! This is something we already would make on occasion but Amber has some amazing recipes and combined with some Juice Plus protein powder it will truly stick with you until lunchtime. If I were to have a doughnut I would be hungry an hour later.

What about lunch? Typically I would make sandwiches for lunch. Amber gave me several recipes for healthy, hearty, and delicious soups for lunch. What I really liked was the recipes would make a huge batch of soup so I could eat it for more more than one meal. My family joined me in eating the soups too!

Dinner is the area that I didn't follow the plan like I should. Amber comes up with a weeks worth of dinner recipes but considering my husband loves to cook he ended up using his own creativity for what we had in the evenings. The meals I did make were very yummy and satisfying though and were tailored around whether you were a vegetarian or not. We like both types of meals so those were the recipes we were given.

The 6 Week Transformation goes beyond just a meal plan though. Each week she gives you a step to focus on to improve your health such as healthy snack choices and drinking enough water. She also gives you lots of recipes for some yummy snacks and plenty of recommendations for serving sizes with your nightly meals.

I didn't lose weight (I need to break the bad habit of snacking at night) but that was due to not following it exactly the way it is intended. I did gain a lot of good habits though as I am drinking plenty of water, I've about quit all soft drinks (except maybe a couple of times a month), and most mornings I am still drinking the yummy vitamin packed smoothies. My son now begs me to make him one too in the morning when I make one for my hubby and I. I will also be continuing with the soups for lunch.

If you are interested in the 6 Week Transformation I really encourage you to visit Amber over at Adventures in Mindful Living. That link will take you over to all the information you might need to get started! If you look through her wonderful blog you will also be able to find a lot of the delicious smoothie, soup, and dinner recipes that I was able to try out.
                                                Berry Cherry Smoothie! One of the many delicious and really good for you smoothie recipes on Adventures in Mindful Livings Smoothie Love Series! Come check it out!!

In fact here is a link to my favorite smoothie recipe- Berry Cherry Smoothie. I replaced the almond milk with rice milk due to allergies my son and I have. It is SO YUMMY! I also discovered by accident that if you by chance put your baby spinach in the freezer (oopsy!) that it works just fine in your smoothies. I think it even blends up better frozen.

I highly encourage you to check this program out if you need to make some changes in your diet whether it is for weight loss of just to feel better! Right now Amber is having a special where you get the program free when you order the Juice Plus Complete protein mix from her. I have tried out numerous protein powders over the last 30 (yes 30 hahaha) years and this was honestly my favorite.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Review:Experience History Through Music With Diana Waring

When I was growing up in school history was one subject that due to lack of interest and a teacher that merely read from a textbook, was not a subject I adequately learned. In fact, I flunked my first history class in college (did I just admit that?). Most of the information I was learning for the very first time and it definitely made taking a Humanities class a tremendous challenge for me. That is one of the many reasons I decided to homeschool due to not getting the education I should of in History and in some other areas. When I was given the opportunity to try out Diana Waring Presents Experience History Through Music I was very excited. Despite the fact that history did not interest me when I was young (most likely due to how it was presented) I am very interested in history now and teaching my children about it.

It’s so much easier for a person to learn information, especially facts, when they are young. I have discovered with my own children that they learn best when history is presented in a variety of ways such as videos, hands on projects, historical novels, field trips, AND MUSIC! Ever since they were wee both of my children have responded so much to music. For years and years every Christmas my daughter Z~girl would ask for a fiddle for Christmas just like Pa’s from Little House on the Prairie. Almost four years ago she finally got her wish and started Suzuki violin lessons. Still...she wasn’t completely happy until a couple of years after that she also started fiddle lessons.

Experience History Through Music contains 3 book/CD sets. The CD is included in a pouch on the back cover of each book. Here is a look at the music:

Along with the music CD's are books. The books we received for this review were Westward Ho!

and Musical Memories of Laura Ingalls Wilder

The other book is America The Heart of a New Nation

Each book allows you to experience the history that goes along with the music on the CD's. Included are dozens of historical pictures and interesting stories to help the reader, and the listener, experience a moment in history. Each of the songs goes along with a story in the book. The books also have sheet music and chord charts! 

What did we think of it? Well the minute I put the CD on my son A~man started dancing around the living room! A~man has special needs and it is so much easier for him to learn if he is able to move around and participate along with listening to a book. I'm also hoping to get Z~girl started learning some of the songs in the book on her fiddle. I personally LOVED the old photographs that went along with stories. For me it makes if feel so much more real to see photos from that time in history!

These books are available at the Diana Waring Presents website for $18.99 each but in July 2014, all three books along with the CDs are available for $50.00 as a set. For the amount of historical stories and music contained with it I think that price is very reasonable. 



Wednesday, July 9, 2014

How Much Do You Depend on Technology?

I honestly think that the fact I can access my computer whenever I want is something I have taken for granted. We have had a computer in our home for probably 16 or 17 years and I never really think about how much I do on the computer daily whether it is blogging, work, the kids online school work, or just playing on Facebook, but then let it break down.

Last week our computer called it quits beyond repair. I completely went into a panic as I had so many things I was working on and so many things that needed to be completed. Without a computer I could do none of the tasks that I needed to. I even thought about going to the library but that would have been about impossible as my computer had all of the passwords saved of everywhere I needed to go to online for work. I was just thankful that we had finished up pretty much all of the kids schoolwork for the year so there was no homeschool science falling behind. I did find myself without thinking, going towards the computer numerous times to look up a phone number, look on Amazon...

Yesterday we got a new computer and I spent the afternoon scouring through old emails looking for passwords I needed. (there were a LOT) It was a relief when I was able to get most of it lined back out and complete the stuff I needed to. I will definitely be spending the rest of the week playing catch up though.

What did I get done while I was without a computer? The house was a lot cleaner that is for sure, hahaha! I also played games with the kids and spent more time outside walking and watching the chickens. We had a super fun Saturday that I hope to blog about soon. So it was definitely not time that was wasted but hopefully next time I have better control on when I get to spend a computer free weekend!

How much do you depend on technology on a daily basis? 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

PWS Weekend!

This weekend we were fortunate to be able to go to a mini Prader-Willi Syndrome conference. We have never been to one although we have been able to attend a few fund raising walks. It's so nice to get together with other families that "get it". Not all individuals with PWS are alike but being around other families that have gone through similar situations makes me feel less alone in this sometimes crazy little world I live it.

What is TRULY amazing is seeing the little ones under 5 years old. PWS has come a long way due to growth hormone and early intervention. A~man walked and talked  when he was around 3 1/2 years old but his speech at that time was only recognizable to hubby and I and he was very unsteady on his feet. He did start GH when he was two but at the time it was very unusual to start it at such a young age. Now,they are starting growth hormone as a very young infant. I was amazed to see a particular little guy that wasn't even 2 and he was walking very steady on his one would have guessed he had PWS.

We were able to have a short one on one session with Dr. Miller (pediatric endocrinologist specializing in PWS) which was very informative. Most of the advice she gave us had to do with improving some of his social skills. I didn't notice it before (how did I not?) but he really needs to work on his eye contact when he is conversing with someone. I think part of it was he was so distracted by what was going on around him. He also need to work on having  more reciprocal conversations. He tends to do most of the talking, LOL.

A~man met several new friends but he totally loves the little ones. One of his newest best buddies (as he said) is 7 and they had so much fun hanging out together. A~man even convinced him to come and see the
fire truck with him.

He even met a sweet girl that is close in age to him. He saw a picture of her on my Facebook and wanted to meet her but the first day we were there he stayed as far away from her as possible. Then when we weren't around her he talked about her non stop.LOL By the second day he had stopped playing hard to get and they were good friends. They have a lot of similarities to each other. I'm hoping to get him to write a letter to her. (he NEEDS to work on his writing)

Is she a cutie or what? 

We are pretty much done with school for the year except for a couple of things. I find it best that they both have something to occupy themselves or they will fight more than they already do. With both we plan on doing a "word of the day" thing to improve their regular vocabulary and reading vocabulary which reminds me! With the end of year testing A~man's progress is very progressing just a few months at a time over a year. (and sometimes regressing) At times this has been depressing to me but it is what it is and I'm just happy that I can see him progressing and maturing in ways that cannot be measured by a test. BUT in oral expression, picture vocabulary to be exact, he progressed a couple of years! That totally blew me away even though I already knew he was pretty good at to get him to improve on the listening. 

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Oh what a weekend....

Can I be honest with ya? I am, not tired, TIRED! Worn out! On average we have PWS issues pretty much on an even keel. That isn't to say we do not have daily issues but they are manageable. Sometimes when things are too calm...I get nervous and them WHAM, we get hit by the Prader-Willi Syndrome truck. It normally happens after things have just been going along way too well and uneventful. I'm not talking about a little issue but every few months it will hit us big time.

As my hubby said in a blog he did a couple of months ago, most of our son's issues center around impulse control. He doesn't...maybe he can't (at times) think of what a dangerous consequence some of his actions may cause. Yesterday he heard us talking about a little girl with PWS that was in the hospital because of ingesting something she shouldn't have and she was very sick. I think it scared him and he went into confession mode and brought us an empty bottle of medicine. We lock up medicine and a few weeks ago I went through the lock box and threw away expired medicine and medicine we no longer use. I put it quite a ways in the garbage with stuff on top but I think that is where he must have gotten it. His story kept changing. We tore his room apart looking for the pills and he ended up bringing most of them to us that he had in a baggy but we still called poison control. Fortunately it wasn't a dangerous med but one for reflux.

Last night things spiraled into a really horrible meltdown. He feels guilt of some sort after the fact. Not sure if it guilt that he did it or that he got caught.

If anyone out there might be thinking "gosh they do not watch their child very well". Literally except when he is asleep (and we have a hall alarm) one of us has our eyes on him....except when he is using the restroom but we know when he comes and goes. Even though my son seems so loud...always talking, when he wants to be quiet and sneaky he will find a way! 

After the storm of an event like this his behavior gets bad with continuous meltdowns. He is normally a very calm happy go lucky young man. He is truly the funniest person I have ever met. (and let me tell hubby is FUNNY!) Today I stood eye to eye with him (he's almost as tall as I am) and he looked so full of rage and anger that it scared me. (BTW it's best to give someone with PWS in a meltdown some physical space and time to cool down) I'm looking forward to things calming down around here. I've already done the mama guilt thing so I do not need anymore as I know that I do my very best.....but sometimes I lose my super-hero cape and things slide past me. Us special needs mamas (and daddies and siblings) have a lot to deal with, a lot. We learn from our mistakes and move on....


Found these cute photos on my camera that my bug and critter luvin' girl took

This week will be a busy one. Last week Z~girl started a theater camp and is LOVING it! They learned some skits and will be performing them at libraries around our county. It has been so good for her. Despite the fact that she is a introvert like I am she LOVES to be on stage. When she was much younger she was in several plays and loves playing her fiddle/violin for an audience. I cannot wait to see the performance.

She is in the middle of an online writing class ( and A~man is finishing up an online reading program. ( We will be keeping plenty busy with that so we may only have extra time for doing some reading and some educational songs for A~man. Next weekend we will be traveling for a day trip to go to our first PWS conference and I am very excited to meet some old friends and some new ones too that share our journey!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Daddy Memories

On my tenth birthday my parents took me to Canada. 

Today I went digging through my basement looking for photos to discover that my basement is VERY damp (no AC right now) and the photographs felt very damp and were starting to curl. I LOVE my photos even though I haven't done much with them so after I finish up editing my niece's wedding photos that I took last month...I will be scanning all of my childhood photos (some are not salvable) on my computer in the next couple of months and also on some type of remote storage device.

One thing I was noticing in so many pictures is that my dad often had a camera around his neck or even more often wasn't in the photos because he was taking most of the pictures. I had never thought about where I got my love of taking pictures till last month when my nephew (an adult close to my age) made some comments. He brought up how grandpa always had a camera and it is a family joke that grandpa liked to take photos of his family eating. WHY? I could speculate. I had older parents that grew up during the Depression and although I know my moms family was well off my dad's family was living in Kansas during the Dust Bowl. I remember family teasing my dad that he had thistles to eat as a child. Not sure how true that was but that could possible be a reason. He grew up VERY poor. Dirt poor. Another possibility is that the family was normally together as a group when they were eating so it was a good opportunity to get a picture of many. Of course so many of the photos had us shoveling it in. hahaha! For what its worth I got a bunch of eating pictures at the wedding in his honor. ;)

I can't describe how much I miss my dad and I have so many regrets. In my teen years I was not a wild teen and my parents were pretty strict but any of my "monthly angst" was targeted at my father. He was an early morning happy person...even at a young age I was never a morning person and only now can giggle at the things he said every  single morning....things like "Did you sleep with your eyes closed?" or " Are you up for all day?" I'm sure those comments were met with either "DAD!!!" or a cold stare.

Plus before kids and when they were wee he was in the beginning stages of alzheimers. I wasn't patient or kind at times. He did some strange things and asked the same thing over and over and over. (maybe my own father was preparing me for me parenting A~man?) He (and my mom) LOVED both of our children dearly. With my dad there was no difference that one grandchild was biological and one wasn't, he loved them. He loved all of his grandchildren so very much! He would try and push A~man in his stroller in a store though and would wander off. This would freak me out at the time because our son was attached to a lot of monitors etc and was very medically fragile. I would fuss. At the time I did not understand the disease at all but after the fact I do from a dear local friend of mine (here's her blog ) that took care of the kids when they were little. Her dear sweet husband had alzheimers and I was fortunate to get to know him a bit.

I have major guilt issues due to all of that as even though my dad was older he did so much with me as a child. He tossed the softball around with me, pitched the ball to me, and rode many miles of bike rides with me. I am sure I got spoiled as a child more than the others but he loved every single one of us even when we were not very lovable. He got me music lessons. He got me art lessons. He got me riding lessons. He knew my love (okay, obsession) with horses and even though I never got my own we often had a horse in our pasture for me to take care of and ride. One of our neighbors had a couple of horses that had not been taken care of very well before he got them and I was able to pour out my horse-girl love on them. YES, I was that crazy horse girl from the tween/teen novels. I lived horse. As a teen I was a clothes hound. I was the last of the kids and I'm sure as a child I got more stuff. Yes, when it came to shopping I was a spoiled teen. ( I did get a job early on though) He gave me so much when he grew up with absolutely nothing monetarily. (he did have a load of love from his own mom though)  I'm not sure about his father as he passed away before I was born and I have never heard much about him except that he was a quiet man of little words. He was a very good dad to us. Perfect? No. Perfection is from our heavenly father.

Guilt aside, I hope he is smiling down at me with pride. I was definitely "daddy's girl". I am thankful that from the start he taught me about my heavenly Father. (he was a minister before I came along) He gave his all to his children. Hopefully he knows how much I love and appreciate him. I look forward to seeing him again some day!


Okay, on a lighter note our homeschool testing is done for the year. That probably should be a whole "nuther" post itself so I will keep it brief. The fact that Z~girl has online tutoring in writing has made a difference in her test scores even though she is only part way through the writing course. I admit that I had taken an unschooling technique to writing with her...but she was in need of some mechanics of writing that was better coming from someone online than me! I still encourage her creative writing but I look forward in seeing the difference of what her writing looks like after his course. So, I will be posting a post-testing blog in a few days....stay tuned for the good the bad....and the not so good. ;)