Oh my goodness can I just say this. I am NOT READY for the boy/girl thing. Heck, I wasn't ready for it 30 years ago! Yet....my A~man has been girl crazy since he was a preschooler. He has always been obsessed with pretty girls and has always loved getting into the business of older teen friends about their "boyfriends" or "girlfriends".
For years he has always, despite my prompting to STOP, asked pretty young women that he comes across if they will be his girlfriend. Baseball caused it to pick up speed. The girls that help with his special needs baseball team are completely charmed by him. Let me see if I can find a picture...
Yep that's him surrounded by blondes. That was a normal sight. At one point during a game he actually brought the girl in the cap a toy ring and got down on his knee to ask her to marry him. I have NO IDEA where he got this from as we do not watch TV except Netflix and I cannot remember us ever watching anything that showed someone doing this. This girl who I will call "J" drove me nuts, she was a very nice girl but she told him that she would be his girlfriend. PLUS I got to hear this girls name a couple dozen times a day during baseball season. A~man brought his Ipod (I let that happen ONCE) and got home to see pictures of him and all of these girls. One time we were at a restaurant.....and a waitress said (A~man must have had his uniform on) "Hey, you must know J....." My daughter seeing the look on my face, and knowing that J has been the "bane of my existence" (I mean that affectionately...J is a nice girl I just get tired of hearing about her) started giggling hysterically at me.
So, when a long time friend/acquaintance sent me a text saying "You know, my Miss K decided to play special needs baseball with her siblings this year just so she could see A~man" I do admit this tickled me. (it's also nice to be in touch with other families dealing with special needs learning...this mom helped me with the basics when we first started) For one Miss K is about the same age, I'm pretty sure they homeschool (I know they used to), and she has special needs. I told A~man that and it took him about a day for it to sink in. We saw her dad in the grocery store and he asked him if he could talk to Miss K on the phone. It's completely innocent and supervised but he has talked to her a handful of times on the phone. She likes to talk just as much as he does and she loves to talk to the A~man! She has CP and is in a wheelchair but cognitively may be a bit higher than A~man. She is a cutie! (and also blonde LOL) I used to do respite with some of her older siblings before I became a parent. With one of us tagging along with him he will be going over to her house to watch a movie or to a theatre with her and her family. (which I am okay with as either hubby or I would also go....due to the food issues although they do also have a son with PWS)
Tonight he asked her (dh was listening) if she would be his girl friend. Did I mention I'm not ready for this? (I am happy with the friendship though...just not the term) She said she had to talk to her mom and dad. I told him....and I have in the past...no girlfriends till he is 30. Okay, okay, we came to some peace awhile back that 16 or 17 would be appropriate. So I told him after the fact no. Yes, it's all very innocent but this is something I have told both kids for years. If I were to tell A~man yes at almost 14...in a couple of years Z (who is not interested in boys in that way at all yet) 16-17, it really wouldn't be fair would it?
I do not remember reading about dating in the special needs manual that doesn't exist. It's not really something I have ever given a whole lot of thought to either up until the last couple of years. I'm guessing in the way past the fact that people with special needs would want to date was not a consideration. Thankfully people now realize that individuals with special needs can have the same hopes, wishes, and dreams that any of us could have. But dealing with it right now makes learning English vocabulary seem easy.