Sunday, June 9, 2013

Special needs siblings

I think that sometimes people that are not in the special needs world do not realize what it is like for the typically developing sibling. It's been a rough week. For whatever reason the OCD part of my son's disability is in OVERDRIVE. Wherever we go he has to tell his sister exactly what we are doing in every detail. He has to repeat back to her everything she is about to do in the day. Can you possibly imagine what that is like? I can but I am an adult. Normally I can just act like I do not hear all of it increases if you react strongly.

I would like to say that I always ignore it or redirect it. I can't do that as I would be lying. This last week I had a bad night and had my fill of it, I YELLED...I am not a yeller. It even brought my hubby down the stairs. (we were trying to watch a TV show on netflix) I lost it yelling. I'm not sure if any of my friends or extended family have EVER heard me yell. I had my fill of the repetitive talk...telling me who each character in the TV show (Heartland btw) was. Then, telling us again.

The thing is, he can't help it (mostly lol)...and by gosh me yelling at him only makes it worse. Tonight, after Z~girl had already went to bed she came to me all teary eyed. She had slugged her brother today (also not a common occurrence) but she did and he shoved back I'm sure. But hours later she realized what she did, she also realized that he couldn't help it,(for the most part) and felt a deep remorse. "Will he forgive me?" I reminded her that each day A~man begins is a new day and he doesn't bring up the negatives of the day before, unless reminded. (a positive of Prader-Willi Syndrome) She also told me she apologized to him after he had already went to bed. I reminded her that I had completely lost my cool earlier in the week...and he forgave me. We are human and after a certain amount of stressors it has to come out somehow. (although yelling and slugging isn't a good way)

That whole situation to me demonstrates some pros and cons of homeschooling. Both A and Z have such a strong bond as not only are they siblings but they are friends. I'm not sure my big brother had much remorse for me when he slugged me as a child. (he did as an adult though..after the fact) Along with the bond means that they spend a LOT of time together. Sometimes too much. I cannot fault my daughter for losing her cool with her brother...especially after she saw me lose my cool. Still. We are human. It is difficult for a sibling of a special needs learner to cope with. She does have her time away, but in the next year I plan to schedule more time with her away from her brother. Whenever she comes back (she went on a weekend Girl Scout camp out last month) she is able to come back renewed. They both need an occasional break from one another to appreciate one another...if that makes sense.


  1. Interestingly, we're going through some of the same exact stuff around here lately. P's OCD is in overdrive too and A is not exactly being helpful. Thankfully, they have definitely got serious some time apart this summer and I'm really thankful for that. (((understanding mama hugs)))

  2. THIS post, right here, is why I LOVE your blog.


    Thank you SO Much for being honest and heart-felt. I love it!


  3. While I can't relate to the special needs necessarily, I can certainly relate to losing my cool every now and then. As a mom (not just a homeschooling mom), it's always comforting to see other moms reflect honestly about things that go on. Thanks so much for sharing. :)