the R word- Retarded

Do you know one of the few ways to get this woman riled up, heart beating outside her chest, steam comin' out of her ears? (well besides using the Lords name in vain) Say the R word. I am a very calm, patient, tolerant person. I am a big fan of letting stuff roll off my back. (well outwardly...sometimes it builds up) It takes a LOT to tick me off. You get the point.

Tonight a sweet young lady dear to my heart said this word in a FB status. This isn't the first time. I've heard it before from people on my friends list. Normally I just ignore...while seething inside. I couldn't this time. As nicely as I could I reminded her that her cousin close in age to her is mentally retarded. She promptly removed her comment and apologized. Will this cause this person or others to stop using the word? Probably not. BUT maybe it will make them think before they speak. I know words that you hear often get stuck in your head and you repeat them. This R word I'm finding is a word that is popular. Most people (like the one on my list) do not mean it to be derrogitory against people that actually do have special needs. It's just the word to say to someone that may not be acting the way you would expect them to. (at least that is how I see it)

What do I say about this? My son IS mentally retarded. Of course due to this becoming such a crass word it is no longer a medical diagnosis but instead the meanest thing you could say to an individual. My sons diagnosis causes him to have to work many times harder physically and mentally to achieve a goal. I still in my mind can picture his sweet face looking up when he was working on lifting his head as an infant. Or his first steps when he was older than 3 years old. He has defied every obstacle that a doctors diagnosis has put on him. He has surpassed it by leaps and bounds. Still his progress is slow. It is often 3 steps forward 2 steps back but he keeps trying...he keeps achieving and most of the time with a brilliant smile on his face. I've got to be honest with you. My son A~man has MANY more friends than I do and more people like him than they do me. He truly does have a more endearing personality than I do by far. I should be jealous huh? No I'm just proud to have him as my son.

Think before you speak. Some of my favorite people I have ever met are "mentally retarded".

Learning to walk!

Learning to talk! (and paint:)

Let's face it...just being COOL!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Sharing with his life long best friend. YES that is the Z~girl! (he wasn't supposed to be giving her popcorn!)

Oh and last but certainly not least a NOW picture of this awesome child I call son.

                                                                                          My 12 year old hero!

Reasons for homeschooling

There are many different variables on how and why someone chooses to home school. Some families choose based on their religious beliefs and choose Christian curriculum and others choose a more secular homeschooling route. These are just a couple possible reasons. Depending on each state's requirements parents are able to make the choices that are best suited to their family. Our reasons for homeschooling were that the public school was not meeting the educational needs of our child with special needs. They quite honestly did not know what to do with him and were not open to us trying to work with them to make it work. The attempts they made in the the first of his kindergarten year were very hard on all of us mentally.

Fortunately homeschooling was a good fit for us. I will be the first to admit some days here can be difficult. We are able to get through those days with love, patience (most days;) On the days that our patience has met it's limit we are able to forgive for the occasional harsh word. (grumpiness...me! ;) Fortunately the good days far outweigh the challenging ones! Although not all of our curriculum is Christian based (but it doesn't contradict our beliefs) we depend on our faith in God to help us all, even hubby and I, to try and achieve our  individual bests.

It's all about perspective

Today I decided to do some math review over things I thought (thought is the key word here) they knew. Z~girl did pretty good. A~man...it was as if he had never done it before. For A~man it was telling time up to each 15 minutes. NOPE. Also a worksheet with several coins to find the total and I also had real coins out as I know when he was tested last year he wasn't able to do it with unrealistic coin pictures. NOPE. He could still identify the coins and their value but not with several coins adding them together. He was frustrated and I was deflated like a balloon. See he wasn't being non compliant although he was a little spacey...I honestly think he forgot...along with a wee little Z~sister voice reminding me "do not fuss at him I think he is really trying!" (my voice of reason this morning) So I decided it was time for a break.

We stepped out into the sunshine, the warmth, the breeze and I know I exclaimed ahhhhhhhhh! PERFECT day. I walked the dog around the yard and remembered a different time when we first moved to this house gosh I think it has been 5 years. Back then Z was almost 4 and A was 6.5. In the last 5 years he has changed so much! I remember step MIL helping to watch the kids while we unloaded things. I remember coming outside and seeing A running from our yard to the house behind us that is quite a ways a way. MIL couldn't catch him so I caught him. This happened many times. I remember coming into his room one afternoon when he was taking a nap...or so I thought...to see him climbing out the window. This has been more recent but I remember the walls in his bedroom before we had them redone this past year. You see he had created 2 holes..(fist sized)...one beside his bed and one behind his door and picked and picked the wallpaper, the sheet rock paper all the way through the wall. Up untill a few years ago he was still "fingerpainting" (you do not want to know WHAT) all over his walls. He used to fling all kinds of things (again...not going into details) down the air/heating duct in his room causing the whole house to smell like....well you do not want to know. He used to constantly hug strangers...we have narrowed that down to friends although he needs to ask before grabbing people..what can I say he LOVES people. He no longer does these things! I need to internally celebrate that! He IS advancing, maturing, sure he has some new "issues" but thank goodness these old ones are past us! I have no doubt he will be able to learn basic math...how to use money...tell time I KNOW he has the ability...but it is on his schedule not mine. (Joy repeat this 100 times "his schedule") I truly believe he will keep advancing on his reading...s l o w l y...but he will be able to read functionally as an adult. I WILL insure this. ;) I also need to celebrate his knowing and understanding about God...He is growing up to be a Godly, caring, sympathetic man. I love him so much!

Here is a picture. Most I put on my blog I have taken but this one was taken by a good friend this winter.