Saturday, March 8, 2014

Pity Party for One

It's my party and I can cry if I want to. Why? It's not something new that I have realized, but even after you have thought that you have come to peace with something...the scab is torn off so to speak and quite frankly it hurts! A~man has come so far in his 14 years, much farther than we could have ever imagined. But sometimes I get reminded that things are not "normal". (what is normal anyway?) What am I babbling about?

Sometimes it is hard to hear of teen social events and realize that this is not something A~man would be welcomed other peers. (and maybe not even their parents) Does he notice that he has never been invited to a birthday party of a peer since he was a toddler? (well...unless it was a party that Z~girl was invited to) No, he has not. In fact he has never been invited to play unless it was initially an invitation for his sister and he was included in the invite.(which I have to say was kind to do...not belittling it!) Oops, with the exception of going to the movies with his friend that is a girl last summer!! Do I notice when teen events are happening and he would not be on someone's mind to invite? YES, and it hurts a mamas heart enough for him and I. This isn't really homeschool related as I'm guessing the same would be true if he was in regular school learning math and the properties of matter, rather than at home learning.

This summer Z~girl will be a teen. (Lord help me, seriously!!! not about boys but the rollercoaster of moods is already taking its toll on me) I have no doubt she will not have a problem getting invites and finding opportunities to "socialize". The ironic thing being A~man is the one who craves being around other people and Z~girl is like her mama and values her solitary time even more so than being with friends. Don't get me wrong, both of us like hanging out with friends, but A~man craves being around people he can talk to. (he needs to work on the listening part of having friends)

I will say the peers we are around are for the most part typically  polite, patient, and kind to him (I suspect they have noticed my mama bear claws??) ...but also with a look of "when is this kid going to stop talking so I can get away from him?" thrown in. Still, he doesn't notice, I do. Maybe that is a blessing in disguise for him?

I guess it is just something that I need to get over as I am the one it bothers, and the one that is hurt by it. 

In brighter news A~man is on a special needs basketball team! He LOVES this even though he is REALLY unfamiliar with how it is played. My boy would be content to walk around talking to every single person in the gym. LOVE my boy! When he was younger he went to day-camp with a lot of the people participating and also plays baseball with many of them. In fact, I noticed that one of his team mates was a boy he went to kindergarten with. He is well received by this group of peers...of course on occasion I still see the "when is this kid going to stop talking so I can get away from him?" look too, but I do understand as my ears are tired at the end of the day.

Still, I will go put another band-aid on my heart and be thankful the issue is mine and that for the most part A~man's heart is not the one hurting. 

1 comment:

  1. Awww...sending hugs to you, you special mama! We are not living with PWS here, but I can still very much sympathize with the "my heart hurts for my boys" thing. Like you though, I am fortunate enough that 9 out of 10 times (or more, even), while my heart is hurting, theirs is not. Lol. That mama bear thing maybe?

    Wine, ice cream and a good superhero movie (I'm not really into the chick flicks) make really good pity party guests. Just sayin'. ;)