Monday, November 22, 2010

Oh what a day....

Ever have one of those days that you can't really say a thing good about? I sympathize with Alexander in the book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"  Heck I could write a book about it today.  I rarily have those days....maybe a few times a year but truly today was awful. I knew it was THAT time of year. A time to be thankful alnd I have so much to be thankful for but 3 years ago I went to see all of my wonderful family in WA only to find one had driven off a cliff the night before. I have never cried so much in my life ( I don't cry) over what happened that night and I am just the "auntie". My heart hurts so bad for my brother, sister in law and 2 niecess....along with the others like myself that loved Ryan.

I saw it on my niece's (Ryan's sis) FB yesterday. I remember the day so well. Somehow I had gotten our flight there on T'giving day...why?? who knows??? I remember coming to the airport with ALL of my family waiting. This was unusual. And then my brother hugging me and whispering what had happened. It was God way to say otherwise. :(

Maybe that was the reason for our bad day. I was feeling it and the daughter in particular was picking up on it. I am the most patient woman on the block. (hehehehe) Today? I was not. I was so impatient. I have felt so much pain.

But at the end of the day? I have my children. ALL of my children. For that I am thankful for. Tomorrow I will be a better mommy.


  1. dont be so tough on yourself hon....
    grief does odd things to us.

    I still remember that day too..........


  2. SO sorry for your pain, gal. As a daughter of a suicide-victim I'm keenly atuned to how painful a tragic, senseless passing can be. I wish you overwhelming peace and good memories of your dear nephew to comfort you!!