Sunday, July 25, 2010

am I CRAZY or what??

*warning..this is just a lot of ramble. My normal posts about PWS, autism, homeschooling, etc etc will return in August...I hope! ;) *

Heather if you read this the book I am reading is Quaker Summer . It is excellent. In fact the main characters name is Heather.

On with the crazy thoughts. I seriously want one more baby. With infertility I wonder if this feeling will ever go away? I always dreamed of having a baby at my mother (ME) and like both of my grandmothers. Now I'm not talking about getting pregnant. (although God surprised me with Z-girl!) I mean becoming mommy for a third time which would have to be through foster care. The foster care system with A-man aged me...but I can go into the next room, kiss his sweet face and know it was worth it and meant to be. Most likely we would have to go through another county as...well...we have a reputation here. (for fighting for what is right...which is not necessarily what DSS wants) Do I have it in me? I feel like my motives are purely selfish. Sure I want to help a child that needs a home...but even more so I want another baby in my arms.

Oh and if you knew how busy my current life currently can would wonder what I was thinking. PWS is a constant journey filled with ups and downs. I told my mom last year briefly awhile back that I wanted another. She said " I hope you do not get one with problems." To give her the benefit of the doubt she is 81 and the language with disabilites is different than what she knows. I have went off on her a couple times (God forgive me ;) for comments. In my heart I think most likely it will be a child with extra needs. Anyway that's enough for tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Over Yonder, You are so sweet and just amazing! What a great heart you have to want anonther child with special needs. You are one of God's angels. I do understand the need and desire to have another baby in your arms. :o)