The good....and the not so good

Life is such a wonderful mix of good and not so good isn't it? If life went along exactly as you wanted it you wouldn't be able to appreciate the truly wonderful moments. That is what I am finding anyway.

The last two afternoons we have had playdates. (is there a better term for this when your kids get older? the whole term is kinda odd) I got brave. I BROUGHT A~man despite the fact hubby could have watched him at home. When my son is around things do not go normal. That's a fact. I'm not complaining that is just how it is. Yesterday it was friends with a boy/girl similiar age but the boy didn't come. (was he afraid?hahah) We went to a park with a stream and the three played in the water. Besides some flatulance and crude humour on A~mans part it went ok. Not great. OK. I really enjoyed talking with the mom. I just hope she doesn't think flatulance is a normal thing in our home. ;)

Today was at another friends house with boy/girl kids similiar age. They recently lost their sweet dog and although I had told Z~girl I hadn't told A~man. He gets things stuck in his head. I told him that their dog had gotten sick and that he was NOT to talk about it with them. I let him talk to me about it...he was really sad for them and went in his room to look for stuff he could give them to make them feel better. I told him no that what he could do is not talk about their sweet pet...as it would have been him talking about it for 2 hours. OK I also bribed him a bit with game store tokens but honestly it just gave him something tangeable to focus on rather than the sadness. He did well. Did he behave like a typical child? no. But he isn't a typical child and he did the best he could.

Later on all four of us were in the car and out of nowhere he said "mama, thank you for praying to God that you would have a son." (both children know it took a long time for us to become mama and daddy) there was a pause and he said "thank you for letting me live in your house." *sob* and then he said something like "I thank God that he lives in my heart". This child has a way of just leaving me speechless sometimes. (sometimes for good reasons sometimes for bad;) I think part of it came from earlier he started asking about his bio grandfather he met ( a long time ago but he was nice and made a good impression)...then about his first mom (also nice just not capable of caring for him)...and her twin. Then about his first father. (I use that term VERY loosely he was not a father in any sense of the true meaning) It was a challenging conversation and it just seems like at 11 he is processing things around in his head. It would be challenging for a typically developing child too. We have always told him about his first family.

Well we get home and it is a pleasant evening and A~man is about to turn in early as he was tired. I smelled something. There is no mistaking Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. So I ask him to bring them to me. He gets the wrapper sleeve. Then I ask him if he has any other food in his room. He must have been feeling really honest as he brought me a protein bar wrapper, more cookie wrappers, and 3 or 4 energy drink cans. My son drinking an energy drink is nothing short of comical if you knew the energy he has. It seems months will go by with him not hoarding food and we let our guard down and this happens. Was I mad at him? no. There was a time (short lived) I would have yelled about it, cried about it, practically banged my head on the wall about it. I can't do that. Right now I'm also at the point of not putting a huge weight of guilt on me and hubbies shoulders. Right now it is a "learn from your mistakes" sort of thing. With Prader-willi syndrome you just can't let your guard get down.

So that is it the good...and the not so good. All equal a very wonderful learning experience.

Oh my goodness I'm 41

OK I've been 41 for 10 days. Today is my hubbies birthday. We went to some beautiful waterfalls in the afternoon and I took a bazzilion pictures. I also had made sure to take pictures of my husband with the kids and made him take pictures of me alone and with the kids. Recently I had to make a family page to go in our homeschool year book and realized "whoa...I did not have hardly ANY pictures of myself!" I'm always the one behind the camera and my subjects are normally the kids, the dog or nature. I want our children to have pictures of us with them. I'm not overly fond of having pictures taken of myself. No I do not think I am homely BUT I find myself picking apart a few things I do not like about myself physically. That is not a good mindset to have. God loves me and I am his creation. I also do not want my daughter to pick up on those vibes. Unfortunately she already does know C and I are trying to lose weight (we are at a standstill :( and she has asked me if SHE is fat. Not good. She is petite in every sense. So I am going to post a few pictures of me...at 41. Oh and I'm not going to make a negative comment like I so want to. I will say a positive instead. I just got 8 inches or so cut off my hair and I LOVE MY HAIR! Love it!

I love this one with my sweeties!

I do have to giggle. I had hubby taking my picture and a few were "interesting" NOT ones y'all want to see. I thought he was taking a picture of my face. Well it wasn't. I busted out laughing when I saw them, not at myself...but that even after all these years he would get frisky like that.

Please excuse my blog as it is under construction!

oh what a night...

We have been taking this health product for the last few months with really good results. (I won't tell ya the product as I am NOT trying to sell it to you, hahaha) Anyway my husband IS trying to sell it and goes to several meetings a month...with motivational speakers. HE is an excellent talker and salesman...me? no. Tonight was supposed to be more of a family event so after much talking he convinced me to go. It was at someone's house that I only knew of their name. Their house should could have been on that show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". My jaw was on the floor. On their property they had a little "log house cabin" and a whole theatre building which is where the kids were going to watch a movie. lol. If you have read my blog enough you will know I cannot let A~man out of my sight especially in someone else's home. Bad things would happen, hahaha. I knew one lady at the party fairly well as she was my sons PT FOREVER. She met him in the hospital before he even came to live with us. She is an awesome lady. Well evidently unknown to hubby and I (the meetings he went to before were at a certain restaurant) most of the women were dressed as if it were a cocktail party with DRESSES. Me? I was wearing jean capris and glad that I changed into a fairly nice tshirt before we came. I was also glad on this rare day I actually did something with my hair other than pulling it back in a pony tail. I was SOOOOO out of place and wanted to disappear into the seat cushions. AT one point I had to glance and make sure my legs were even shaved.

HONESTLY I would NEVER want to live like that. The people were nice so I am not putting them down. The house was beautiful but so beyond over the top. These are not people I would choose to hang out with and I am sure they would not want to hang out with plain ole me. ;) (OK I am not so plain but in spirit I like things simple) It made me think even more fondly of all of the friends I have that appreciate the simple things like me. I would not trade any of them for what I saw tonight.

Before the meeting the PT friend of ours talked Z into going to watch a movie with her daughter in the theatre building. Five minutes later she was back saying she wanted to stay with us. (while she read her book about the Wright Brothers ahhaha, I have created a book worm) The meeting lasted two HOURS. I felt so bad for the kids. It was an ok speaker but money is not a big motivator for me. I do not have any desire to be rich monetarily. I want to be able to be comfortable and would love one day to be able to help others.

I did get tickled when my hubby's friend afterwards went on and on about how good both A and Z were. They were sooooo good! I do not think I could have been that patient as a child. Tomorrow we are having a special day for them to the game store and to get icecream. I love my family! :)

Like the wind

Today for the 4th we went to a church picnic. It was soooo nice. Since coming to NC for one reason or the other we went to BIG churches. I'm shy and tend to get completely lost in big groups. Sometimes I wonder if that was what I was trying to do. This is a small church. I feel God led us to this church and it has caused me to show more of myself as you cannot blend in to the wall at a small church. There are many other reasons I love our new church (we started last fall) but that is not what this blog entry is about.

After the picnic Z and hubby went into the grocery store to get a small pack of fireworks. A~man was COMPLETELY over stimulated to the limit (which happens on holidays) and we stayed in the car. The question he asked me was amazing. This child that was not supposed to walk,talk, or live. He said HOW is Jesus inside of me? How did he get in there. He wanted to know PHYSICALLY how he got in there. This is coming from a very concrete thinker. He wants to know PHYSICALLY how He got in there. He knows the story of Jesus very well and can tell you...infact he obsesses over the whole Easter story. (which is a whole nuther entry) How does someone explain this to an 11 year old that in some cases is more like a 7 year old? I tried to explain it like wind. You can feel it on your face...see it blowing the trees, blowing the clouds, but you cannot SEE wind. But still you know it's there. That's kindof how I feel about God. You can feel his comfort, his guidance, and see his work in your life but you can't actually see a physical THING. He persisted so I'm not sure he got it but hopefully one day he will. Tonight he wrote a note to Jesus.

I wasn't sure what to tell him about that as he put it under his pillow. (reminder to self soon we will have the talk about the tooth fairy, Santa, etc....wish we NEVER would have done all that) Despite his wondering this child has such great faith. If he says he is going to pray for someone HE PRAYS FOR THEM without any prompting. He shows Gods love to EVERYONE around him. He KNOWS God...he just wants more specifics.


When he was a wee little boy...maybe 4-5 and he was starting to put words together he SAW angels on occasion. It was an amazing description especially since at that time he did not know what they were. He brought his daddy to tears one night with his description. (and no he doesn't just "SEE" things)

How do you explain to a child what God IS?? (beyond what you read to them)