HERE I AM!!

Yes I am here. I have been hesitant to blog as our life has been scrambled a bit and y'all do NOT want to read the complete drama, trust me. BUT. The kids are fine and healthy and A~man's behavior is stable for the most part. Hubby and I are closer than ever. YET we have been facing the possibility of losing our home...our vehicle called it quits a month after it was paid for and for us is too expensive to fix. (we are a one vehicle family) If it wasn't for the fact hubby has a kind friend that owns a car lot we would be on foot....(we have been before but that was before and we were much younger...and rode our bikes everywhere) but as of today the vehicle we have been driving is ours. (with payments of course) Still waiting on the house issues. Looking back I wish we would have chosen a much smaller home for our first house. You can't go back though can you? The cause of all of this turmoil (well NOT the car...WE are rough on vehicles) the service provider for my childs special needs. UNFREEKINGBELIEVABLE. But I cannot go into the details except for the fact we are now officially with a company that is on the ball and cares. This company is appalled at what the other place has done to us. I went to a half day training today to deal with sn's behaviors (I have had the training before kids when I was "working" ;) and I am so impressed with the staff. They CARE. Shouldn't a mental health support organization be like that??!!

The icky bitter icing on the cake is my husband lost his job this week. This is the second time he has worked for this "place". He quit the first time...similiar crap, he was fired this time due to a load of bullshite...excuse my language. I have NO respect for the owner of this place. NONE. I like the manager and other sales associates but will never step foot in that store again.

Did I write all of this for any reader to say "oh you poor thing" ? No. So don't give me that as I do not want it or expect it. I believe as a Christian things happen for a reason. I am not thinking "sour grapes". I am angry (it takes a LOT to make me angry) but we went through similiar stuff when A~man was a foster child ensuring he had services for his disabilites and things got ugly then. Because of that and a dear friend of ours the local DSS system concerning SN's foster children has changed. It wasn't pretty and we made no friends with DSS. (ok we did have a few;)I'm hoping soon there will be a similiar statewide occurance.

I have momentarily felt like throwing my hands up into the air to God "what are you doing to us?" It has been an avalanche.Yet I feel God with me every step of the way. He IS there. There is a reason for all of this and I have placed it all in his hands.

Looking back 10+ years before becoming a parent our obstacle was infertility. After the fact I can see we would not have our SUPERFANTASTIC A~man without Gods perfect plan. We wouldn't have the SPECTACULAR Z~girl without A~man coming first. (as he could not come into a house with children because he was extremely medically fragile as an infant) God has some plan in this 9 month turmoil we have experienced and I believe we will see the light about it soon.


A mostly unneccessary (I do not think that is a word hahaha) disclaimer- if you know me IRL..family...friends. Do not share what I have written on this particular subject with anyone. I have only told one local friend...a couple not local friends...and do not want my mother in particular to worry unneccessarily. God IS in control even when our current situations seem uncontrollable.