I'm decluttering the house...I'm hoping to have it done by Feb 1st....at least that is my hope. Little steps. Today I did my entry closet.....I now have in my car 3 garbage bags to go to goodwill in the am. Keep in mind that is where I was storing it....just never got it out to the car. I have a problem holding on to the kids clothes. I also got rid of probably a garbage bag worth of stuff not worthy of going to someone else. It felt so good. I should have done before/after pictures! The hubby FINALLY :) put together the shoe shelf that I have been nicely asking for him to do for...a long time. It looks so much better!!! Now to tackle the livingroom. Which is honestly pretty good...just need to go through the kids bookshelf...organize current homeschool material...and clean off/out my computer table. Right now I"m looking for some nice art of some sort for the entryway as a reward. ;)
While looking around on the web I found this site http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/overcoming/yourhouse/organize.shtml It has some good tips and ideas. Now my house is not like some of the examples here. (my garage is on it's way though on a small level) I have a grandmother that was a mild version of this. My mom grew up during the depression so my grandmother was trying to raise 5 children during this time. Once the families situation improved though she started hoarding things....lots of newspapers and magazines...rooms full. One of my husbands grandmothers (actually his last one) passed away a couple years ago. She had rooms and rooms and rooms...not habitable full of STUFF...and rats...etc. She was poor...she grew up during a different time too...to put it nicely she was simple and not educated.. with psychological issues. She was not able to raise my mother in law but instead as an adult my MIL took care of her in many ways. Her house in the end had to be burned down. I'm getting off track as usual but it is amazing the different factors that can cause a person to hold on to stuff....me included. This aricle lists some reasons and I think mine is perfectionism....which is ironic...but I know it is something that has kept me from doing many things and finishing things I have started.
HERE'S to putting another dent in getting rid of more tomorrow!!!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
it's that time of year....
I hate to dread it...but I do. I love Christmas...everything about it. In fact I love every month excluding Jan/Feb. I was in a foul mood today and I remembered why. My dad was born/died the first part of Jan...coming up on 6 years. Hubby's dad's bday was in Jan(who died 6 1/2 years ago) I had a miscarriage on Valentines day some.....hmmm.... 17 years ago....
The end of Feb always looks up...that is when A~man was placed in our home....I think it was the 27th of Feb 2000. :) Then shortly after I will look forward to the first flowers popping out of the ground.
Just get me through the dark of winter...
The end of Feb always looks up...that is when A~man was placed in our home....I think it was the 27th of Feb 2000. :) Then shortly after I will look forward to the first flowers popping out of the ground.
Just get me through the dark of winter...
Monday, December 14, 2009
He showed me....and the doctor!
I'm tired. I'm always tired. Today especially so. It was my own doing....or undoing...
Today was an appointment with A~mans Dev Ped. This guy is 'SUPPOSIDLY" an expert in Prader-willi syndrome. We have been going to him off and on for maybe 6 years. The hubby and I do not particularly care for his bedside manner. Sortof condensending (not spelled right...)A~man acts like an ANGEL with this dr. He only speaks when spoken to. If you know A...you know...that is NOT how he is. ;) Well I got this IDEA and hubby was in agreement to not give him his morning meds....I wanted the dr to SEE our issues. ENTER MOMMY GUILT. Well...turns out he ALSO got into some of his sisters RED candy (hot tamales)...he has a BAD reaction to red40....bad is a mild description. It causes him to get a little crazy...to say it in unpolitically correct terms. So I get there...(thank goodness Z girl went to work with hubby) I sit down and he wanders around a bit...then he sits down...then he stands up and sits down again...nearly knocking the table that is behind the chair over. He realizes he almost knocks it over and tries to do it again....THEN I knew "OH CRAP" so I sat beside him as there is no moving it with me sitting there. He starts looking at the other patients...most have sn's ...he started saying loudly "is that a GIRL OR A BOY MOM??" I tried to disappear into the couch. We are called back for him to be weighed/measured/ BP. He refuses to remove his shoes. Finally I get em off...then he becomes violent/aggressive getting his BP done. The dr must have heard HE tries...A~man keeps tensing his arm...bending it kicking dr....they give up.
Next we move into the examining room. Normally with this dr he will go in...sit at the too small table and play with the toddler toys...only talking when spoken too. (this child never stops talking in every other situation) Instead he starts chucking the toddler toys AT THE DR and at his glass hutch that has beach shells in it! What does the dr SAY? " does he do this during your homeschool times?" this dr not a fan of homeschooling...let me say....why did he not ask " is this how he acts at home?" grrrr. (only on rare occasions btw) Finally he says that we must leave the room and wait for him in the waiting room. The dr comes in the waiting room and ds takes off at a sprint down the hall into someone elses office...I get him.....to make an already long story a little shorter we leave promptly after with Dr S saying" will you be ok getting him to your car?" uhhh yeah. Not sure how but I did...and my back is messed up to prove it. He acted "SO OUT THERE" that on the phone to dh I said "I hope they do not call dss on me". DH's response..."well you were not the one acting out of sorts A was" (wise man:)
It sortof backfired on me...it's my fault. This extreme behavior happens only once a month or so...and rarily in public. Usually if he has red 40. I was HOPING he would see A~mans "normal" behavior- talking too much, too loud, invading personal space, distracted. Not this rarily seen behavior.
Hubby talked on the phone with him later that day...he told the dr I was afraid they were gonna call DSS on me...the dr thought that was funny...I guess he deals with situations like that a lot...I just never see them.
Oh we saw security on the way out and they man was TRYING to distract DS by pointing at the very cool train that goes around the building....A~man only asked ME...does he have a gun or a taser?...fortunately the man didn't hear what ds said after the door closed!
It continued all afternoon...he would fall asleep...wake up...rage...fall asleep. DANG the red40! and me getting the bright idea to skip a dose.
Tomorrow is a new day though...and it WILL be better. I love my little man with my whole heart by the way...and told him so... He has taught me unconditional love. Despite what I have described the kid is sooo lovable...lucky for him! ;) Let try to add a pic of my handsome boy. Please excuse the horrible grammer and spelling tonight.
Today was an appointment with A~mans Dev Ped. This guy is 'SUPPOSIDLY" an expert in Prader-willi syndrome. We have been going to him off and on for maybe 6 years. The hubby and I do not particularly care for his bedside manner. Sortof condensending (not spelled right...)A~man acts like an ANGEL with this dr. He only speaks when spoken to. If you know A...you know...that is NOT how he is. ;) Well I got this IDEA and hubby was in agreement to not give him his morning meds....I wanted the dr to SEE our issues. ENTER MOMMY GUILT. Well...turns out he ALSO got into some of his sisters RED candy (hot tamales)...he has a BAD reaction to red40....bad is a mild description. It causes him to get a little crazy...to say it in unpolitically correct terms. So I get there...(thank goodness Z girl went to work with hubby) I sit down and he wanders around a bit...then he sits down...then he stands up and sits down again...nearly knocking the table that is behind the chair over. He realizes he almost knocks it over and tries to do it again....THEN I knew "OH CRAP" so I sat beside him as there is no moving it with me sitting there. He starts looking at the other patients...most have sn's ...he started saying loudly "is that a GIRL OR A BOY MOM??" I tried to disappear into the couch. We are called back for him to be weighed/measured/ BP. He refuses to remove his shoes. Finally I get em off...then he becomes violent/aggressive getting his BP done. The dr must have heard HE tries...A~man keeps tensing his arm...bending it kicking dr....they give up.
Next we move into the examining room. Normally with this dr he will go in...sit at the too small table and play with the toddler toys...only talking when spoken too. (this child never stops talking in every other situation) Instead he starts chucking the toddler toys AT THE DR and at his glass hutch that has beach shells in it! What does the dr SAY? " does he do this during your homeschool times?" this dr not a fan of homeschooling...let me say....why did he not ask " is this how he acts at home?" grrrr. (only on rare occasions btw) Finally he says that we must leave the room and wait for him in the waiting room. The dr comes in the waiting room and ds takes off at a sprint down the hall into someone elses office...I get him.....to make an already long story a little shorter we leave promptly after with Dr S saying" will you be ok getting him to your car?" uhhh yeah. Not sure how but I did...and my back is messed up to prove it. He acted "SO OUT THERE" that on the phone to dh I said "I hope they do not call dss on me". DH's response..."well you were not the one acting out of sorts A was" (wise man:)
It sortof backfired on me...it's my fault. This extreme behavior happens only once a month or so...and rarily in public. Usually if he has red 40. I was HOPING he would see A~mans "normal" behavior- talking too much, too loud, invading personal space, distracted. Not this rarily seen behavior.
Hubby talked on the phone with him later that day...he told the dr I was afraid they were gonna call DSS on me...the dr thought that was funny...I guess he deals with situations like that a lot...I just never see them.
Oh we saw security on the way out and they man was TRYING to distract DS by pointing at the very cool train that goes around the building....A~man only asked ME...does he have a gun or a taser?...fortunately the man didn't hear what ds said after the door closed!
It continued all afternoon...he would fall asleep...wake up...rage...fall asleep. DANG the red40! and me getting the bright idea to skip a dose.
Tomorrow is a new day though...and it WILL be better. I love my little man with my whole heart by the way...and told him so... He has taught me unconditional love. Despite what I have described the kid is sooo lovable...lucky for him! ;) Let try to add a pic of my handsome boy. Please excuse the horrible grammer and spelling tonight.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
the rest of the story....
Well most of my subscribers know me on facebook and know the rest of the story but I thought I would come back and write it all down.
I guess it was Wednesday night. Z~ girl slept in my friends dd's room in a bunk and I had previously arranged for A~man to sleep in our room. Our gracious hosts made him up an airbed (although the kid honestly loves to sleep on the floor...not sure why?), he took a shower and went to lay down. Unknown to us....he had taken the cordless phone into the b e d r o o m. The hubby, my friend, her hubby and I were sitting in the livingroom nearby chatting. I had my EARS on. I kept hearing some beeps but thought I was hearing things. Finally we hear some more phones sounds....not sure if it was their answering machine or what...but I went in the bedroom and found THE PHONE. I took the phone and went and sat back down....wondering. I asked my friends dh if he could check the phone and see if any numbers had been dialed. The rest is blurry. He got up to go check I believe...and there was a knock on the door. It was at least 10:30. Evidently my mischief maker had called 911 not once...not twice...but a dozen times! He tied up all the emergency phone lines for the city. (small city;) My friends dh talked to them...not sure what he said...but all was well.
Do you laugh do you cry do you scream when something like this HAPPENS??? My friend and her hubby...were as cool as cucumbers...they handled it so well. Perhaps it helped that my friend is a dr and familiar with PWS? maybe. If it would have happened with my family?? it would have been NO SMALL MATTER. My MIL and step fil? they would have been ok with it but he would be in DEEP DOO DOO. Well he did get in deep doo doo with us. Than we talked about how it could have prevented people from getting help they REALLY needed. He's a smart cookie but this wasn't the first...and most likely won't be the last. Lord help me.
Oh I did laugh though....when he didn't see....can I admit that? Sometimes if I didn't laugh I would be crazy by now. ;)
I guess it was Wednesday night. Z~ girl slept in my friends dd's room in a bunk and I had previously arranged for A~man to sleep in our room. Our gracious hosts made him up an airbed (although the kid honestly loves to sleep on the floor...not sure why?), he took a shower and went to lay down. Unknown to us....he had taken the cordless phone into the b e d r o o m. The hubby, my friend, her hubby and I were sitting in the livingroom nearby chatting. I had my EARS on. I kept hearing some beeps but thought I was hearing things. Finally we hear some more phones sounds....not sure if it was their answering machine or what...but I went in the bedroom and found THE PHONE. I took the phone and went and sat back down....wondering. I asked my friends dh if he could check the phone and see if any numbers had been dialed. The rest is blurry. He got up to go check I believe...and there was a knock on the door. It was at least 10:30. Evidently my mischief maker had called 911 not once...not twice...but a dozen times! He tied up all the emergency phone lines for the city. (small city;) My friends dh talked to them...not sure what he said...but all was well.
Do you laugh do you cry do you scream when something like this HAPPENS??? My friend and her hubby...were as cool as cucumbers...they handled it so well. Perhaps it helped that my friend is a dr and familiar with PWS? maybe. If it would have happened with my family?? it would have been NO SMALL MATTER. My MIL and step fil? they would have been ok with it but he would be in DEEP DOO DOO. Well he did get in deep doo doo with us. Than we talked about how it could have prevented people from getting help they REALLY needed. He's a smart cookie but this wasn't the first...and most likely won't be the last. Lord help me.
Oh I did laugh though....when he didn't see....can I admit that? Sometimes if I didn't laugh I would be crazy by now. ;)
Friday, November 27, 2009
a very thankful Thanksgiving
I have a good friend....my best friend in high school....so many fun memories.... that I haven't seen in about 17 years. Her husband is in the Air Force and in the last couple of years moved relatively close to us in AL....6 hours away. We have been trying to get together the last 6 months and they invited us to their house for Thanksgiving. We have no local family anywhere near us....and were not able to buy 4 plane tickets this season. So reuniting with old friends... was such a blessing this year! Granted with just the four of us we always have fun and special times...but add in another very special family and it was MUCH to be thankful for! I swear the entire time I was there I felt warm fuzzies....and it takes a lot for me to get warm fuzzies. It is just so special (excuse my cheesiness) to meet up with someone that knows your strengths and weeknesses when you were child....someone you shared your special dreams for the future with. THAT is who my friend Heidi is. :D
At first I was hesitant as they had not met the A~man....but he (and all of us) were welcomed and accepted. A special thumbsup to their BIG boy....who is just a bit older than our A~man. He was so patient...and kind....playing with A! I think my hubby had fun playing XBox (or whatever game it was...I'm not a gaming girl ;) with J too! Z~girl had a blast with Miss O....wish we lived closer so they could meet up....but AL is a lot closer than the other places they have lived! Such a fun mix my little Tomboy with my friends girly girl! Oh and MR H. Sweet boy. 3 yrs old....my all time favorite age!(I was a 3 yr old teacher for many yrs) He's a mans man.....but I will conquer this boys affection!!! :D
We were able to take a trip to my friends office! Very cool. My friend is a doctor and I'm so proud of her!! <3 She even checked our blood pressure. :)
Anyway it was a wonderful 2 days....even though I wanted to stay 3 or 4 (hubby wanted to spend time at home Saturday and Sunday morning before he started back to work Sun night) but I am thankful for the time we had.
I will save the visit by the police (at our friends home) for the next blog.....a funny occurance (rolling my eyes)...well one of those situations where you have to laugh....or you will cry....which is MY LIFE IN GENERAL. :)
At first I was hesitant as they had not met the A~man....but he (and all of us) were welcomed and accepted. A special thumbsup to their BIG boy....who is just a bit older than our A~man. He was so patient...and kind....playing with A! I think my hubby had fun playing XBox (or whatever game it was...I'm not a gaming girl ;) with J too! Z~girl had a blast with Miss O....wish we lived closer so they could meet up....but AL is a lot closer than the other places they have lived! Such a fun mix my little Tomboy with my friends girly girl! Oh and MR H. Sweet boy. 3 yrs old....my all time favorite age!(I was a 3 yr old teacher for many yrs) He's a mans man.....but I will conquer this boys affection!!! :D
We were able to take a trip to my friends office! Very cool. My friend is a doctor and I'm so proud of her!! <3 She even checked our blood pressure. :)
Anyway it was a wonderful 2 days....even though I wanted to stay 3 or 4 (hubby wanted to spend time at home Saturday and Sunday morning before he started back to work Sun night) but I am thankful for the time we had.
I will save the visit by the police (at our friends home) for the next blog.....a funny occurance (rolling my eyes)...well one of those situations where you have to laugh....or you will cry....which is MY LIFE IN GENERAL. :)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Lighting a candle tonight
in memory of my nephew Ryan who was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. He was 20 years old.
OK if you read my blog you know I can be scatterbrained. I'm comfortable with that now...it's who I am. Two years ago today I had scheduled us to fly to spend Thanksgiving with family....this was the year Thanksgiving came earlier in November so the week before we were to fly out...the nonrefundable tickets were bought one of my brothers emailed me saying in a nice way "could you not fly here any sooner than Thanksgiving day?" uhhhh I had booked ON THANKSGIVING DAY!! I was embarassed.
The kids are excited....we are...and after a long day of flying from coast to coast we finally arrive in Wa. From the start it strikes me odd. My brother R was supposed to be picking us up. Well most of my east coast family meets us in the airport. My brother S's girls...and his son....my great nephews and great nieces...and my mom. NO ONE looked happy. My brother R comes up to dh and I in a hug and says...I will never forget these words "R was killed in a car accident last night"... I felt so sick...like I had been hit in the gut...with all these eyes of my family on me. I remember hugging R saying I am sooo sorry...and running to the bathroom...to get sick and sob.
The rest is a blur...memories with family....some good even amidst the sorrow. It was a rough event for A and Z. We went to the viewing and brought them....I think back and wonder if some of A`mans issues...his obsessions with death were caused by this. A~man had only met R once...but R worked with adults with disabilites but their one time meeting...they were fast friends. You can't go back and change things... I remember standing next to my niece T...she is like a sister to me...heck most of my nieces I feel are more like sisters to me....just staring....walking out of the room hugging my brother and sobbing like I have never cried before...like I have never cried since. Seeing my nephew there....stilll and cold. I have NEVER cried like I did with R's death. I remember A~man screaming " my cousin is not DEAD".
I pray for his parents and his sister tonight as I often do....hoping they have peace....and comfort. If my heart hurt so much I cannot imagine their grief.
I hope R is up there playing his drums in glory!! ~Joy~
OK if you read my blog you know I can be scatterbrained. I'm comfortable with that now...it's who I am. Two years ago today I had scheduled us to fly to spend Thanksgiving with family....this was the year Thanksgiving came earlier in November so the week before we were to fly out...the nonrefundable tickets were bought one of my brothers emailed me saying in a nice way "could you not fly here any sooner than Thanksgiving day?" uhhhh I had booked ON THANKSGIVING DAY!! I was embarassed.
The kids are excited....we are...and after a long day of flying from coast to coast we finally arrive in Wa. From the start it strikes me odd. My brother R was supposed to be picking us up. Well most of my east coast family meets us in the airport. My brother S's girls...and his son....my great nephews and great nieces...and my mom. NO ONE looked happy. My brother R comes up to dh and I in a hug and says...I will never forget these words "R was killed in a car accident last night"... I felt so sick...like I had been hit in the gut...with all these eyes of my family on me. I remember hugging R saying I am sooo sorry...and running to the bathroom...to get sick and sob.
The rest is a blur...memories with family....some good even amidst the sorrow. It was a rough event for A and Z. We went to the viewing and brought them....I think back and wonder if some of A`mans issues...his obsessions with death were caused by this. A~man had only met R once...but R worked with adults with disabilites but their one time meeting...they were fast friends. You can't go back and change things... I remember standing next to my niece T...she is like a sister to me...heck most of my nieces I feel are more like sisters to me....just staring....walking out of the room hugging my brother and sobbing like I have never cried before...like I have never cried since. Seeing my nephew there....stilll and cold. I have NEVER cried like I did with R's death. I remember A~man screaming " my cousin is not DEAD".
I pray for his parents and his sister tonight as I often do....hoping they have peace....and comfort. If my heart hurt so much I cannot imagine their grief.
I hope R is up there playing his drums in glory!! ~Joy~
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
parenting is aging me....go figure
Today my husbands stepmother in law sent us some pictures. To back up she married FIL a couple months before he passed away...in 2004. Anyway it must have been pictures she had found. It was dh's senior pictures that FIL took, some pictures of him (fil) from that time period, grandparent pictures (my parents and dh's grandparents) , PRECIOUS reminders from the past...pics of the kids as baby/toddler with them. I'm so thankful to have the pictures now.
OK now for my vain side...it doesn't show often. Pictures of ME (oh and dh was in there too;) with the kids when they were a baby and toddler. OMGoodness! As dh said "you look like a little kid!" now I wasn't a little kid....I was 31....but b'gosh I looked 21. Maybe it was because I was so skinny? Honestly though...even though I wish I was 20 pounds at least lighter....I like my face better now....I"m rounder....more....well curvy....(I'm trying to see that as a positive). Now? well I look every bit my 39 years....but thinking over the last 10 years of parenthood...I've earned it! I would show before/after pics but....well I WON'T. I might show a local blog friend if she asked though. ;)
OK now for my vain side...it doesn't show often. Pictures of ME (oh and dh was in there too;) with the kids when they were a baby and toddler. OMGoodness! As dh said "you look like a little kid!" now I wasn't a little kid....I was 31....but b'gosh I looked 21. Maybe it was because I was so skinny? Honestly though...even though I wish I was 20 pounds at least lighter....I like my face better now....I"m rounder....more....well curvy....(I'm trying to see that as a positive). Now? well I look every bit my 39 years....but thinking over the last 10 years of parenthood...I've earned it! I would show before/after pics but....well I WON'T. I might show a local blog friend if she asked though. ;)
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